And So It Begins

Well, it happened. Due to the overwhelmingly positive response from the Officers who took the 2-day training on Corrections Fatigue and Trauma-Informed Care in the Prison Setting, the Prison Director gave permission to roll it out to the entire site. Leadership, management, Corrections Officers, health, case management, the mental health services and any other staff who want to participate are going to undertake these two days starting in August. As the only current facilitator, my life is about to get busy. When I asked if I could get some of my materials printed, she thought 500 should be enough to cover everyone. We also already have other prisons interested in it.

As I write this, I am flying back from Wellington where I just finished the first part of the Clinical Leadership course I am taking. They talked about the Pike Place Fish Market Model (which is ironic because I lived in Seattle and worked at an engineering company where a business coach who trained in that model worked with us) and how to create positive organisational culture. Two worlds collided when I remembered how privileged I had felt to work in a company who invested in its employees and strove to create a positive culture that encouraged people to develop into their best selves. I saw and felt how well that model worked. How ironic that I sit here now, in New Zealand, talking about that as I prepare to launch a training that spends time talking about how to change a toxic culture of fatigue to a healthy and fulfilled one. We don’t always know how the roads we have taken in the past will merge to lead us to the places we will go.

I’ve been reading two books as of late that have been very timely for me. The first is called, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F#@k by Mark Manson. One of the Officers at my training raved about it and told me I should read it, so I did. It did not disappoint. He spoke of this concept about the fallacy of thought humans can get into- ‘when I get “here” things will be better.’ Insert perfect partner, home, career, achievement, you name it. What we often find is that “thing” met some of your problems, but also created new ones. I just landed the new job, but now I have imposter syndrome, or have a team that doesn’t like me. Or I have a great partner, but we are having to learn how to communicate and have hard conversations so we can learn how to navigate the difficulties inherent in being in a relationship. Or now that I have reached this thing, I am suddenly terrified of losing it. I found this to be incredibly validating, as I see it happening in my own life all the time. We never stop growing or being challenged; instead, the challenges just change form.

The other book is called The Persuaders: Winning Hearts and Minds in a Divided Age by: Anand Giridharadas. This book interviews activists and change makers who display a “calling in” instead of “calling out” approach to change. Instead of increasing the divide between people who see things differently than you, it helps us have the conversations that can create growth. Helping educate rather than vilifying mistakes. It’s a great book and as I am clear part of the purpose of this training is to change perspectives and create positive change through learning, I want to know how to best create an environment that is safe and inspires discussion. I know it is not the training itself that will make the change, it is the individual who goes through the training that recognises they have a part in making the change if they believe it is worth the effort. It’s not one person making change; it’s a village who decides they want to step up and make it themselves. The training just helps give the tools.

As I reflect on all of this, I easily can become overwhelmed with gratitude and also just overwhelmed. It feels huge to me that my team and I are at the birthplace of what could be an incredibly impactful shift. It’s probably not surprising that I have a passion for hearing people’s stories, so I have read many memoirs and autobiographies. It appears to me that many of the people who made a positive impact in our world had two major things going for them: 1) Right person, right place and right time and 2) Getting back up and trying again after failure (repeatedly). Personally, I believe the reason this training is taking off like it is, is because people had been asking for it. They wanted the changes and they wanted the information. My team and many others have been talking about the need for this material way before I ever showed up. All I did was found the tools and offered it without demand, and I have been grateful that the people who have taken the course have said, “yes! please pass this on.” It feels like a grass roots movement that is slowly gaining momentum. I am really excited to see if the larger organisation embraces it in the same way. I am also excited to witness the meaningful conversations that occur when you get people in a room and ask them to be vulnerable and speak their truth while also listening to another’s. I am humbly hoping we can do this at my site and come out better because of it.

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In other news, I have been diving into the research on fertility. It’s like a whole new world I didn’t know existed. It appears research supports that diet changes and supplements can set someone up to more likely become pregnant, especially if they are already classified as having difficulty conceiving (as someone my age likely is). At this point I am not interested in IVF, but I do want to make any lifestyle changes that are within my control that may set me up for success. Unfortunately (fortunately?), this includes shifting into a Mediterranean Diet. High veggies, protein, healthy fats and low carb. It also means removing caffeine, refined sugars, and alcohol. I have no doubt I will struggle making these shifts as I love my coffee, TimTams, and beer (but also knew I would have to give this up at some stage), but I am kind of excited as well. It’s an opportunity to adjust my lifestyle and who knows, maybe I’ll even feel better and want to keep it. I’m probably writing this paragraph more for me than anyone, as I’m sure I will need to re-hear my own words when I am pining for a TimTam :).

I think that is probably it for me. My birthday is approaching in a couple of weeks and there are many things to look forward to on the horizon. My partner and I just scheduled another Great Walk on the Tongariro Northern Circuit for next Easter and are slowly exploring the bucket list places we still want to venture to in New Zealand. He is pursuing a degree in Biomimicry and I am looking forward to how this impacts our desire to be in and appreciate nature in an even more receptive (instead of my typical active) way. My current focus and growth edge continues to be to balance the part of me that wants to “do” with the part of me that needs to get better at just “being.” I’m good at trying to control; I need to learn to trust and let go in equal measure.

As I navigate the rest of the year and (try) to embrace the changes and growth being asked of me, I wish you well as you likely do your own version of this. May you feel comfort and rest while also feeling hope and possibility.

Until next time.